February 2011
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January 2011
1 tag
2 tags
5 tags
List of guys I would inexplicably bone.
Actually, I have my reasons.
Scott Disick
Artie from Glee (the fucking handicapped one)
Bill Hader
Conan O’brien
Duckie from Pretty in Pink
The “cool” kid from that car commercial
3 tags
This could go on forever.
Me: What if instead of Black Swan it was called Black Cock and Natalie Portman was really good at dancing the white cock but really had to put her heart and soul for the black?
Arthur: Really had to turn into the black cock.
Me: Really had to let the black cock consume her.
Arthur: Mila Kunis's friendship really helped her prepare for the black cock.
Me: Natalie Portman's mother did not look kindly on Natalie's sudden interest in the black cock.
Arthur: Natalie Portman stole Winona Ryder's rightful place as queen of the black cock.
Me: I have never found Natalie Portman more appealing than when she transformed into the black cock and penetrated herself.
Arthur: A true artist. That was the best performance of cock lake I have ever seen.
Me: People in Rwanda are starving to death right now, and I am taking upside down pictures of myself on my webcam because I think my cheeks look like of funny from that angle.
Arthur: How do you know if people in Rwanda aren't doing the same thing? I mean, it's not like they are busy eating.
1 tag
When I get really “into” (oh g0d) someone’s blog and am 52 pages into their archive and “like” (as in the button) a post of theirs and realize that they’re going to see that I was 52 PAGES INTO THEIR ARCHIVE.
UNLIKE. UNLIKE. UNLIKE.
1 tag
Nevermind why I was looking up pictures of Eliza Dushku. Why would anyone take any effort to compare what her face looked like within a 1 year time span?!
Explain this!
Conversations in which I admit things I would...
Eat pie
Get around to filling my Fasfa out
Talk about all of the sex I’ve had (grossly exaggerated)
Read
Masturbate
1 tag
Sparky the choreographer from the original Bring it On.
SNUBBED.
Sparky: [the cheerleaders form a line for Sparky to inspect] You, you have weak ankles. One of your calves is bigger than the other. Too much makeup. Not enough makeup. What’s with the skin? Say it with me SUNLIGHT. Male cheerleaders, enough said. Smile. Don’t smile. Ah, good tone and general musculature. Report those...
4 tags
Watchhahaha. I never want to watch this movie. I don’t think it would be the same if I saw it in context.
How did this fly under the radar undetected?!
SNUBBED.
I just got a Mac a few days ago and the first thing I thought to do was to record a video of myself saying, “I love you. How was your day sweetheart?”. I have watched it every night since and am pretending to be in a long distance relationship with myself.
1 tag
I just feel like there should be more websites dedicated solely to providing me with former Real World cast mate noodz.
“This is my first time coming to this class. Do you think this test is going to be hard?!! Do you have a pencil and a scantron I can borrow?”
-Guy who sat next to me during Psych. exam.
“Remember that episode of Boy Meets World when Mr. Feeney came over to Cory’s house for iced tea and Chris Hansen was waiting for him?”
- Arthur
hellolachu:
Corinne Bailey Rae’s cover of Is...
// ]]
// ]]]]>]]>everythingisgold replied to your post: Oh nothing. Just making a list of the places I…
Do we actually have to pick up that stuff?
Uh… I don’t think so but why wouldn’t you?
I figure the more awards I get, the more of a chance that one day my mom will love me.
HAHAHAHA! :(
Oh nothing. Just making a list of the places I have to go to pick up my numerous awards I am probably undeservedly receiving for my academic achievements this past semester. Nbd.
Finally, people who recognize the time and effort I had to put forth to pass Theatre and Computer Science.
Everyone can suck my dick.
1 tag
“I guess this means I can’t get a smoothie =’( “
- Me, when my check engine light came on this morning
edgarsux asked: I want to be just like you!!
1 tag
Me: Lend me your Lord of the Rings book.
Arthur: I don't have it. It's with my brother in San Diego. You can go to San Diego and get it?
Me: ...but, I need it.
Arthur: Just watch the movie.
Me: It's not the same!
Arthur: Why do you want it so bad? So you can say, "The book was better than the movie!"?
Me: Actually, yes.
Re-posting this because I have yet to be proven...
This is what goes through my mind at 3 in the morning.
“FLOIB.”
“FLEEGERSNOT.”
“FANCATIOUS.”
Those are all numbers.
Here’s my rationality.
Numbers are infinite. If numbers are infinite, some number out there has to be called “Floib.” It just has to. I mean, you have your hundreds, then thousands, millions, billions, trillions and so on...
I just ordered volumes 1-3 of the Grey's Anatomy...
So help me God.
Me today:
“Interesting. I haven’t received any text messages/phone calls in well over 6 hours. Maybe I forgot to pay my phone bill.”
*Checks when next phone payment is due. (Two days from now.)
I see, I see.
Being a masculine gay is really just finding ways to hide your inner infatuation with Elton John music.
I’m here, I’m queer and Elton John is my bro.
2 tags
In case you didn’t know, I want things but, alas, I am a poor college student.
Will trade 4 sex.
Any by sex I mean I will photoshop my face on a Sean Cody model.
4 tags
I really enjoy when other students think they know more about a subject than the person who gets paid thousands of dollars to teach said subject.
And by enjoy, I mean if this cunt corrects my World Civ. professor’s pronunciation one more fucking time, I am going to lift her 112 lbs., hip Courtney Love shirt-wearing, denim jegging owning, bleach blond hair (which I have no problem...
2 tags
Ahh, I just remembered this conversation I had...
Me: People don’t choose whether they are gay or not. It’s in our genes.
Him: If that’s true, where did this “gene” come from? Adam and Eve weren’t gay. It couldn’t have just popped out of thin air.
Me: I win. I win this argument.
Oh, and for those of you who’ve noticed, I’m tagging my posts now in a futile effort to get more followers because…
You know…
I’m a sad human being….
and…
The amount of followers I have directly corresponds to how good I feel about myself.
4 tags
Things I’d rather have a guy tell me other than “I love you.”
Labia you.
Lava you.
Larva you.
Loathe you.
Lube you.
Fuck me.
1 tag
Arthur: I am always in such a good mood until I start talking to you.
Me: That’s what my father told me before he left us.
1 tag
Gpoy.
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3 tags
“I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGE THE DATE ON THIS ALL DAY! DO IT FOR ME PLEASE!!!! DON’T BE MAD, I REALLY TRIED.”
- My mother, the second I walked in the door, asking me to help her change the date on a doctors note because I guess she’s 12 years old now and doesn’t want to be sent to the principle’s office for cutting class.
The tables have turned.
mykicks asked: I actually don't remember what he looks like, so I can't say if he was a babe or not. He might have been? I dunno. I've gone on three dates (the first two with the same guy, which involved getting some action, and the third which was a complete, neverending disaster). But that was wayyy back in July.
mykicks asked: I actually don't remember what he looks like, so I can't say if he was a babe or not. He might have been? I dunno. I've gone on three dates (the first two with the same guy, which involved getting some action, and the third which was a complete, neverending disaster). But that was wayyy back in July.
1 tag
Guy on “I Used to be Fat”: I threw up.
His mom: Oh no.
Me: NO THAT’S A GOOD THING!!!!!
I’m really digging this set up.
And I mean that in a completely unironic, trying to figure out how to fasten a desk onto my bed kind of way.
