February 2012
102 posts
Everyone is out being trendy and smoking hookah...
The other day my English theories professor asked the class if we’ve ever seen an experimental film and in my head all I could think was “Ugh. What? Why? No. Why would anyone even want to do that?”
Last year some guy was telling me about an independent movie theater around here and how there’s tables and you can order food and watch classic films and I told him I’ve heard of it and have been...
I’m trying to get to know my roommates more.
Today I was in the kitchen with one of them and he asked “How you doing?” and I responded by saying “Nothing.” and walking away.
I’m a Japanese school girl.
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“Reese knew what he’d meant. He gasped and his jaw dropped and his eyes...”
– Somehow ended up in the Malcom in the Middle x-rated fan fic section of the internet tonight.
wamiv- replied to your post: Can you believe that high school was 5 days a week…
and pe
I haven’t taken a P.E. class since the 8th grade. I did all of my credits online. One of the requirements was to join some kind of athletic club or sports team and provide proof, so I killed two birds with one stone and Google searched “High school swim team” and photoshopped my name onto the roster.
...
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Can you believe that high school was 5 days a week and 8 hours a day? That was a thing. That was a thing we all did. Every day.
I woke up this morning at around noon for my functionally retarded advertising class at 3 PM and the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking, “UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY! THIS IS DUMB! UGH!!!!”
5-8 hour days a week! We did that!
“Ash Wednesday? More like HASH Wednesday! What!!!!”
– Someone, someone, of the over one billion English speaking people in the world said this today. Someone.
That person was me.
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Watch What Happens.
Andy Cohen: Name one thing that you don’t like about Meryl Streep.
Billy Eichner: That she’s not even more Meryl Streep.
mykicks replied to your post: What if I stated in my will that if I were ever in a coma that I’d like to be unplugged,
They take out your butt plug and there’s that quiet exhale of air like when they took the cocoon out of the dead girl’s throat in The Silence of the Lambs.
They get a doctor to examine it. “Somebody grew this guy, fed him honey and nightshade, kept him warm. Somebody loved...
What if I stated in my will that if I were ever in...
but what I meant was that I want someone to remove my butt plug?
Or release my acoustic album.
I think I’m a little too excited to eat banana...
Like, this should not be my first option. This should be a last resort. In case of fire or flakes, remove DVD from case, loaf from carton.
Last day on Earth —still would want to watch Million Dollar Baby and eat banana bread alone. Still wanna watch Hillary Swank try to drown herself.
“Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of...”
– George Carlin
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sodunnoyo asked: this one time, i watched an episode of diagnosis murder, and dick van dyke was kidnapped. to get out of it, he put his glasses on when reading a ransom note, but everyone knew that he didn't need reading glasses, so could see everything reflected in his eyes. i wish i could remember why i told that story.
“Alright then. Well… ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
– I tried to subtly tell someone to leave my apartment just now, but they ended up going when I instinctively broke into a fit of maniacal laughter immediately after I said “Well…” because of how uncomfortable I was.
I would laugh through rape.
imnotheretomakefriends asked: the best part is that because it's so big, it will always be doughy and soft in the middle.
joedoe asked: I am so grateful for you posting that picture of Brandan Fraser. I was sitting next to him at a restaurant two weeks ago and have literally been trying to figure out his name ever since. #Neverforget
Today I found out I’m depressed.
Me: I got in bed at nine, slept twelve hours, woke up, ate a half of loaf of banana bread and am cutting class for the first time in two semesters. Treating myself so hard!
Will: Those all sound like classic signs of clinical depression.
What do I do with this.
paralytic-dreams replied to your post: I still don’t understand hookah.
Hookah can be really enjoyable. It tastes great, passes the time, can give you a bit of a buzz depending on how much you smoke, but won’t impair you and you won’t get addicted.
I feel like the same could be said about pie. Just buy some pie.
Here’s pie’s marketing campaign: Pie. It’s pie!
I still don’t understand hookah.
It’s like: “If you’re not addicted to cigarettes, don’t want to get high, have seven dollars to spare and want to smell like strawberry fumes, have I got the thing for you!”
Such a niche clientele.
Yo, I have tofu.
(I’m making this tomorrow because it expires in a few days and everything on Google looks like I have to do a lot of complicated things + stuff.)
(Also I’m poor and don’t have a lot of “ingredients” so like…)
What is this and what do I do?
“Just tell her age ain’t nothin’ but a number. Then give her your t-cell count...”
– Gave some serious advice today.
Liking someone’s comment on your status:
The universal “Haha, I don’t want to talk to you.”
I hate when pictures of babies on facebook get...
They’re not even old enough to be insecure. They probably don’t even hate their bodies yet. They don’t need the validation like I need the validation.
It’s not Friday night unless I’m updating my...
Me: You know what? Maybe that guy who collected ancient crystal skulls wasn’t that bad? Maybe I’m the weird one? I wonder what he’s up to.
*Goes on his Facebook page and sees that he recently “attended” “Evanescence on Jay Leno”*
Me: Right. Right.
